a. Yes, the author of the Jed McKenna books is really Enlightened (as defined in the books), and I can proceed with that in mind.

b. No, the author of the Jed McKenna books is making this up as he goes, and I can proceed with that in mind. (I promise not to tell anyone. I’ll just stop re-reading the books and go back to my other worthless pursuits.)

What happens to Julie or Lisa? I thought there’d be something on Julie in the 3rd book after saying ” I’m Free” in the 2nd one. Did she go back to being a mom and journalist? Or did they follow their own authentic desires and walked a very different path of life? One thing I remember reading was there was a person who was enlightened and became a cab driver? I ask these questions is because they probably deal with a lot of ego out there. I don’t see them preferring anything else besides follow your way Jed, after writing the book, relaxing on a chair alone with a pet. watching time go by.

I’ve been wondering about whether I’m following my authentic desires or not. Maybe a little background about me would help, I’ve been mainly following Buddhist ideas with other varieties of self help books (Law of attraction, Eckhart tolle, sedona method, and some zen,too). What got me into spirituality is because I wanted a good life for me and others around me, and good karma for the afterlife(my top priority). What better rules to live by than a 2.5 centuries old tradition that never raged wars, but instead survived by following its “peaceful” teachings?…

However your books just cracked something inside of me. I don’t know when my lenses were blurred enough to allow myself to waste time on it. Maybe because I wanted to believe anything including lies to satisfy my “create a world of less suffering” goal, maybe because I was just scared of death when I was young (infact your book caused some horrible memories to come back). I just don’t want to live a lie anymore…. and I’m just angry and sad.. why the lies? Why no warning from the “saviors” themselves? Maybe that should have been their first message or law? Maybe like “you’re afraid right now, I cannot give you any truths and I don’t know what happens in the afterlife” Or maybe the people that spread the messages misinterpreted. Maybe I misinterpreted.

So back to Authentic and Inauthentic desires… after you were “done” how did you know your desires were really authentic?

I tried questioning my beliefs about certain habits of mine’s and there’s still some stuff I can’t seem to break down to authenticity or not. I try to avoid killing spiders or cockroaches. Another goal of mine’s is I’m trying to create a website to teach Chinese. Im not sure if my “better world” goal is so ingrained I can’t see the difference. It still feels good to do these things. Not alot of obstruction. And if you do stop doing the habit, how do you know that what you’re doing isn’t out of anger at your naive past self to break a past habit? It’s like you said, I’m just laughing hard while crying on the inside every day, looking back at my past. Hugest Joke in my life, ever, and it’s on me.

I feel like yes, maybe the spirituality stuff I read were mostly fear-inspired lies, but isn’t there something still authentic within what I read? I won’t lie to myself about the afterlife and pleasuring external beings anymore, but it seems kind of hard to throw all of it away when some ideas pop up that correlate with what you say and what I’ve thought about (Abraham’s teaching of the Law of attraction, just doesn’t seem 100% BS, practicing mindfulness to stay aware of the moment like focusing on breathing seems right).

I thought about it alot. I even had a dream about it. Now I don’t have a picture of you or know how you look, but in my dream, you looked like Betty White to me. I shit thee not. I barely barely knew about Betty White before this.

Anyways in my dream, I asked you whether things like creating a website or other small habits were based on lies. You said no, as long as it flows. I woke up somewhat happy… But this is just a dream…. so What do you say Jed?

My last question is this, I’m currently a poor college student, and as much as I believe I should do a 1-2 year isolated spiritual autolysis….. and with this economy’s condition… I’m not sure if it fits my situation….. Do you have any tips..? I assume avoid contact as much as possible, and focus on breaking lies in my life?..

Lastly and most importantly… where am I to you on this road..? Am I just being a hypocrite? Is Maya laughing at me at my futile attempt to cut away these layers when I’m just adding more?

1. How do I know if I am really awakening or just dreaming that I am awakening?

2. Are my motivations for truth realization pure or just my ego fooling itself to avoid something it doesn’t really want to obtain?

3. Can I do this process w/o going away alone for a few years?

4. What space do I hold my significant other in during this process?

5. How could my relationship with her throw me off track?

6. How do I know if this is the life time for me to take this journey and I’m not wasting a good dream on something more fun?

7. What am I missing to finish the journey to truth realization? What do I not see?

Anyway, a ‘fun’ first step story:

I was 20, my dad had just died about 5 months before… I was sitting on my couch smoking weed and watching Planet Earth on PBS. Then, all the sudden, it hit me like a ton of bricks. “Dude, we’re just chimps with clothes on!” – for the next 10 minutes I was up on my table naked making animal noises.

Deep, spiritual stuff.

Of course, it wasn’t too much of an intellectual jump from the depersonalizing “we’re chimps” to “we actually don’t exist” – which I’ve been wresting with since then. I’ve moved from a model citizen (scholarship to Harvard, started a successful company) to that weird guy who dropped out of it all and lost his mind. It’s my goal that when I die, my gravestone reads “Here lies a chimp who started out so promising” ;)

Your work has given me a better structure for ways to think about the process and to explain what is happening inside between my ears… allowing me to focus my consciousness to get here and to keep focused on the hard work ahead.

Further.

Praise to the Jed McK books, which have caused an incredible stirring within me.

If Jed is reading this – would you be open to reading from a new, awakened author?  I only ask because I have been fantasizing about what you would think of the author and her book.  She lives here in Vermont and is the only spiritual teacher I’ve ever asked to meet with, asides from you (as if that should provide any credibility!).  I’ve met her once, and am going back to see her next week. Jan Frazier – When Fear Falls Away

Its just fascinating to me that her process seems to be so different to yours.  She, apparently, just woke up one morning into awakening.  Her book describes her process intimately.

Well, that’s it.  I’ve got tons to say really, but it would all be for my sake and I can do that alone.

All I want to say to you is THANK YOU.  I don’t care if your books are fiction, non-fiction, or if you’re Jed McK or Adya or whatever the hell else they are saying on the net.  The important thing is that they have allowed me to progress from a very stuck place.

With Gratitude…

One of those times was after reading about Brett, and your remark, “I think I’m in Love.”

Which brings me to my comment, several years later: It would be fun to read your take on relationships, especially intimate ones, for the enlightened man and woman. I imagine you would have lots of fun writing about it.

I first came across you very soon after your first book came out. Just one year previous to that my own awakening occurred, the culmination of probably 20 years of seeking/pressure-building and then about 18 months worth of eruption. One day, as you said, there it is – Done. I sat there, my lower jaw dangling, the full realization of the finality of it all now apparent. I eventually shut my mouth and figured I’d make myself some breakfast to celebrate.

A year or so later I bought a copy of Damnedest and thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Not only fun to read, but also quite validating at the time, “Hey, here’s another guy who has been through a lot of the same shit I’ve been through, and now sees it pretty much exactly the same now too.” It was strangely comforting to know that there were others who had wrestled with the same opponents and somehow magically found themselves past it all. So a big thanks for that.

Continuing on with this life of mine, especially while immersed in intimate relationship, has been mind boggling and delightful many times along the way since then. Now carrying this unique perspective, alone yet connected, governed by my Flow yet lovingly bonded to another with her own Flow to follow, makes for endless head-shaking moments. Difficult to find the words to express it, as is always the case. Perhaps you’d get a kick out of expressing it, Jed-style… assuming you’ve had some of your own crazy experiences with it!